I was gently reminded today that the same people you’ve come to care for and perhaps even love, may be the same ones you have to walk away from in the end. Steve Harvey stated that the same people you started your journey with, may not be able to go with you.
When you really sit back and think about it, the people you meet in your journey are all in different stages of their lives. Some are trying to figure out what to do with it, some don’t know what happened to it and others are wading through murky waters just trying to get some air. Despite who you meet, you’ll have to deal with some sort of personal and emotional baggage.
At some point, you’ll have to understand that you can’t help every person you meet, you can’t argue over every bad decision a person makes, you can’t will a person to change or sit around patiently waiting for change to happen. Hoping for the best won’t cut it and arguing over it isn’t always ideal.
The reality is, people will always be people; and people will always do what they want until it comes time for them not to. Unfortunately, that’s usually after someone gets hurt.
Sometimes the best thing to do is sit back, remove yourself from the situation as best as you can and let adults…be adults.
Apparently I’m a superhero. Today, a few emergencies popped up and I was called to do what I do best…handle them. As time passed and people didn’t hear cursing or yelling because of the late additions, everyone wondered if I was human. I wasn’t nervous or anxious. I didn’t scream in frustration or blame someone else for it falling through the cracks. I didn’t complain or sigh or vent or catch an attitude. Instead I smiled, assessed the situation, danced a little to the song I was listening to and did what needed to be done. Apparently, from what I understand, this is a superpower (not the dancing part).
I’m constantly questioned about this uncanny ability. Here’s my answer: It’s not that I don’t stress, it’s that most of the things that come my way aren’t worth stressing over. It’s very simple. Either it’ll get done or it won’t. The circle eventually closes and dramas eventually pass. If I don’t get results one way, I’ll try another way. If a door closes in my face, I’ll find another door. If that door closes, I’ll make my own. Unless you’re trying to kill me (like my cat), then there’s no point worrying about it. Don’t mistake me, I’ll do my best in everything I have a hand in, but worrying about today’s problems only disrupts today’s peace. I don’t know about you, but I have no intention of giving that up.
OK, maybe you don’t need a year, maybe you just need time in general.
Time to: bring yourself out of a dark space and focus on the positive, work on your mindset, develop new ideas, to read more, quiet your nature, change some of your habits, work through a bad relationship, figure out what you really want from life and from yourself, etc.
Sometimes, being around the same group of people keeps you harboring the same emotions. Change your scenery, get out of the house, meet new people. Stop complaining and do something about your situation, even if it’s just a little. Do any and everything in your power to quiet your surroundings enough so that you have time to focus on you. Remember, it’s not about being selfish, but about your growth.
Whatever you do, you must set aside time to deal with or change a thing. If you don’t know who you are, you may never know where you’re going.
Let me tell you something you don’t want to hear…
Sometimes–you have to start from the bottom to get where you want to be.
Yes, you’ll actually have to work for it. Yes, you might have to do it over again until you get it right. And yes, sometimes you’ll actually have to take a step back and check yourself.
“If it’s easy, then it won’t be worth it. If it’s worth it, it won’t be easy.”
Starting from the bottom or starting over again, is not always a bad thing. A lot of people are having entitlement issues these days and don’t understand why there’s so much distance between the things they want and what they have. When you’re at the “bottom” or have to start over again, there’s a reason for it. Perhaps there was a lesson you missed in life’s unending classroom. Maybe you need to learn something different. Maybe you need to take a different path. I don’t know. It’s up to you to figure out why.
But during that process, humble yourself. Humble your words. Humble your actions. Humble your conversations. To do that, you’ll have to self-evaluate, self-educate and self-reflect often. You’ll have to keep reminding yourself of the reasons why you started this journey. You’ll constantly have to battle through critics and negativity. There’s nothing you can do about that. You’ll have late nights and early mornings and unnecessary commentary to filter through. You can’t do anything about the unnecessary and unwanted commentary–so ignore them. What they think about you is none of your business anyway.
Sometimes you’ll have to start in a place you’d rather not be, but that’s okay. Learn from the lessons in life and move on. As you learn and grow, your skills and talents will also. It only helps you in the long run.
Your inner critic can be harsh. It can push away a good idea, convince you that you’re not good enough, not worthy enough and don’t have the ability to do it. Don’t deny yourself the vision you’re aiming to achieve by letting past experiences, bad moments or low self-esteem interfere with the vision you have of yourself.
A few days ago, I had a what the hell are you doing with your life moment, which most people might find strange because I seldom share this part of me. Most would say I’m ambitious, head-strong (can’t argue with this one), direct (definitely not this one either) and focused. But uncertain is not a word people would use to describe me.
While I wasn’t unhappy, I realized I wasn’t where I wanted to be in my life. I woke up thinking, there has to be more than this. There has to be more than my daily work-life routine.
But when I woke the following morning, I was in a different frame of mind. I realized I was being impatient. I had to remember that my journey is just beginning and it’s going to take a lot more to get where I want to be. In order for me to do more, I must be better than I am…and that’s not always easy. Change isn’t easy, but it’s better than being stagnant. Although I know I’m not in this alone, it’s hard to see through my own self-imposed cloudiness sometimes.
And even though the feeling of uncertainty was brief, the moment was needed to remind me to keep pushing through the doubt. Life does not reward procrastinators nor does it reward those who aren’t willing to go the distance. I needed to remember that this was part of my journey and from time to time, these feelings will surface, but I cannot allow these feelings to linger nor should I dwell on them.
No one ever said this was going to be easy. But will it be worth it? Yes.
I write these posts as much for you as for me. If you can relate to this at all, I encourage you to stay strong and keep pushing through my friend. We have too much work left to do.